The first time ever I saw your face…

When I first laid my eyes on him, I gasped. Seriously. I had seen that word written in trashy romance novels my whole life and scoffed at the mere thought of gasping over a man! My mother had raised me to believe I didn’t need a man at all! Let alone gasping over one!

But, gasp, I did. It was April 13, 2009. And it was a moment that would irrevocably change my entire direction in life!

How did I wind up in that moment? That takes us back a few months to December 2008. I was terribly single. As in, almost all my friends were married or in relationships and I was terribly left out, single. But because almost all my friends were in relationships, I never had the opportunity to meet people; I hung out with them and was the fifth wheel constantly. Despite adoring my friends, it did dreadful things for my self esteem and the anxiety & depression I had battled my whole life.

Then I got an email invitation to a Christmas party at Cohen’s house! Cohen was a guy that I had met a few times but didn’t know very well; he was, however, a very good friend to my friend Tashia who had moved to Cape Breton earlier that year! I was so excited to think of celebrating Christmas (it’s my jam) with my friend Tashia and her friends that I replied right away that I would be there with bells on!! Tashia replied that, unfortunately, she had a conflict and wouldn’t be able to attend. Because I’d said I was completely free, I felt obligated to go.

For the first time in my life, I went BY MYSELF to a Christmas party where I knew no one at all…and had only even met the host a handful of times!! Little did I know that life was never going to be the same again!

I arrived to a room filled with holiday revelers who were enjoying some Christmas cheer and trying to convince me to join them on a trip to the Dominican Republic the following April! I was driving and sober and had never been “down south” before, nor did I know any of the trip’s participants!! They wouldn’t let it go, so as I said my goodbyes, I assured them I’d come on the trip if they asked me when they were sober! The following morning Cohen emailed me details of the trip and the countdown began!

We were a motley group of eleven; some married, some single, some older, some younger; that embarked on this trip. We flew to Puerto Plata and stayed in the idyllic seaside town of Cabarete, in a very magical, small-scale resort right on the beach. We drank far too many pina coladas that first day and spent entirely too much time in the sun on the beach…it was heavenly. And my neck and shoulders relaxed for the first time in many years.

Now for those of you not familiar with Caribbean resorts, most have what is known as an “animation team”; these are the young men and women whose job it is to entertain the guests. They offer games during the day and put on shows in the evenings. Because we were a loud, fun group, the animation team fell in love with us and tried to get us involved in all the activities! Most of our crew, however, wanted to relax in the sun…except me, I loved the games! haha Sheila Tequila, one of the most insanely fun and kind hearted people you will ever meet, was instantly enamoured (not in a real romantic sense, just for the record!!) of one of the animation team members whose handle was Spaghetti!! And everyone kept talking about how handsome the young men on the team were. I kept making fun of them for having stars in their eyes!

I didn’t yet know anything about the reputation of resort workers, so for those of you who may be reading thinking you know where this is headed…you don’t. lol. So stay tuned!

Monday evening, before the show started, we were sitting at a table in front of the stage when the Animation Manager made his first appearance of the week. I openly gasped. Sheila heard it. The rest laughed. And I was caught in one of those moments that you only read about in books!!

Honest to God, it was as if my heart instantly recognized his. It was that much of an instantaneous connection. We have a video of when we first interacted cause later that same night, he presented the awards to the games winners of the day…and I was one of them. We didn’t speak to each other, he simply handed me a certificate. Rewatching it just now, it still makes my heart skip a beat.

Immediately following the show, I went straight to bed. Imagine ME, straight laced, pragmatic, responsible, goody twoshoes me, having that kind of a reaction to a complete stranger in a foreign country!! I needed a minute to process. Sitting in my room that night with the warm breeze blowing in from the water, I gave myself a stern talking to, demanding that I give myself the chance to relax, to be open, to explore this very rare experience of instant connectivity.

The following morning our group made a pact to not participate in any group activities but, rather, to enjoy lounging in the sun. If we all said no, then the team would leave us be. I was the weakest link and we all knew it hahaha. So when they started gathering hotel guests up for a dance lesson, I sat with my back to them. One of the girls on the team said, “I’m writing your name down!!!” and I said oh no, none of us are participating! And she simply asked the others what my name was. “Jo Ann”, she wrote down and then on the microphone, she said, to her boss, oh Jo Ann is definitely coming for a lesson cause she has the same name as you! I can still close my eyes and take myself back to that moment…knowing he was walking toward me, being frightened of my reaction to him the night before, but being excited to finally meet him. I turned around to face him just as he approached our loungers. And the very first thing he ever said directly to me, as he extended his hand for me to dance with him, was “You know you are my wife, right? Come dance with me”. And I danced.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it was a line!! And I know that very well LOL. But it worked. I swooned in his presence and went with it. After my lecture to myself the night before, I vowed to roll with it. We were only there one week afterall!

That evening, following the show, he came to talk to me and Corey, the husband of a dear friend of mine. He and I spoke for over an hour about everything under the sun…family and faith and politics – all the things you’re not supposed to be talking about when you first meet someone!! And yet it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. I was 33 years old and I knew, in that moment, I had met the man I was going to marry.

The rest of that week was a bit of a blur…I had so much fun with all of my new friends and with Joan where we could fit time in. I never held his hand. I never kissed him. I never gave him my contact information. But I knew. It was gonna be him.

On the bus to the airport for the return trip, I mourned. I mourned the loss of something that felt over before it began. I mourned the loss of a country that I had fallen in love with. I mourned the loss of the free, liberated, stress-free person I was on that trip.

When I got home my Mom asked me how my trip was. I said, “I met someone”. “Oh yeah?” she said, knowing how insanely rare this was for me to have said so. “Yes”, I replied, “and I don’t know what I’m going to do about it”. She was putting away the clean laundry and didn’t even pause for one moment before replying, “well then I guess you’re going to have to go back to find out”.

A week later, together with my friend Flora, I booked a return trip for less than 2 months time.