As Valentine’s Day Approaches…

I am the most cynical romantic that you will ever meet. I love sappy songs and sappy poetry and sappy movies. I can watch the movie Sweet Home Alabama with the volume off and speak every line! Sleepless in Seattle, too. My favourite childhood movie was Anne of Green Gables and that moment where Anne says to Gilbert, “I don’t want diamond sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you” still gives me goosebumps!!

And yet, growing up, I never ever imagined a knight in shining armour riding up to carry me off into the sunset. Not once. Probably the result of having an independent, type A, feminist mother!! So how, then, is one to reconcile the visions of love with the reality of love? That was a tough one for me…and one that took a looooooooong time to figure out and as Valentine’s Day approaches, I am reflecting on all of it!!

I think it is more than a little ironic that the lead up to Valentine’s Day in our household involved a pretty traumatic weekend!! Last Thursday, into Friday, we had an ice storm. It was freezing rain for hours upon hours! The trees started to sag, the roads were terrible…and, whaddya know? The power went out. Temperatures dropped that first night into the minus 20s Celsius and electricity is our only heat source. We bundled up, layered blankets on our bed, and went to bed, expecting power to be restored in the morning.

Alas, that was not meant to be! The electrical company has an outage map with expected restoration times but it was daunting to look at cause electricity seemed to be out everywhere around us! When the first restoration time came and went, we looked at the map…and our home was not listed as being without power. Ugh. We had to call the company. We were assured our power would be restored by 11pm Saturday. Then by 2pm Sunday. Then by 6pm Sunday. Then by 11pm Sunday. Then by 6pm Monday. Yes, really. Talk about frustrating when they kept moving the finish line!! I would have much preferred they tell us it would take 2 weeks and then surprise us by getting it done in 3 days instead!

We had plenty of offers for refuge. My parents had power and room. My brother and sister-in-law had power and room. Friends came out of the woodwork and offered accommodations and hot meals to us. BUT, we were very concerned about our pipes freezing, given the temperatures and we have a washroom that is accessible from the outside only, which wasn’t accessible at all due to the ice build up – which meant we couldn’t run the tap a little to prevent freezing. We wanted to be close in the event that something burst so we wouldn’t be flooded out on top of everything else!

So what did I learn in that 3 nights and 2 days of no heat in such frigid temperatures? And what on earth does that have to do with Valentine’s Day???

I learned that my pipes must have been insulated by the snow surrounding our home cause they did not burst, thankfully, despite the temperatures and the no heat.

I learned that 2 nights and 3 days is a really long time when you’re cold and can’t cook.

I learned that diets go by the wayside and McDonalds becomes a normal part of the routine.

I learned that 4 comforters on the bed, plus multiple layers of clothing, make it difficult to move and can contribute to back pain.

I learned that our cat, who is undoubtedly a spoiled beast who whines incessantly with the slightest change in his routine, is actually a trooper! He was quiet and well behaved and snuggly and didn’t leave our side the entire time!

I learned, for the bazillionth time, that my dear old Dad is a super hero! On Sunday he was able to move his generator outside his shop so that both locations could take some energy from it. We were able to plug in a mini space heater that didn’t make things warm but did take the bite off in our main living area where the biggest concern of pipes freezing are located. He fueled it, refused payment for it, and checked it regularly.

I learned that space heaters meant for a small room do very little to heat a larger space but it was better than nothing.

I learned that I like the tea better at McDonalds but my husband likes the breakfast sandwiches better at Tim Horton’s.

I learned that after awhile, with no heat, frost forms on the inside of the windows in your house.

I learned that I’m not offended to be told “you stink” when showers are off the table for 2 days and 3 nights haha (you just change your stinky self into fresh clothes).

I learned that as bad as we had it, our crow friends had it much worse in those conditions.

I was reminded that my husband is the funniest person I know.

I was reminded that my husband would do anything and everything to protect me, Luis and our home.

I was reminded that my husband has the ability to remain calm in stressful situations and to help me do the same.

I was reminded that my Dominican husband, despite being raised in a location where 25 celcius was cold, is brave and strong.

I was reminded how much we genuinely like each other’s company

I was reminded that it is the simple things – like wrapping one more blanket around me or telling me a silly story when I’m overwhelmed or passing me the cat to snuggle while he goes to check on the taps – that mean the most.

I learned that we can face all things together and how we can be content with so much less than we ever thought.

And all of those things I learned or was reminded of made me remember something else, too. Many moons ago, my sweet friend Joanne Mac married her sweetheart, Craig, at St. Margaret of Scotland Church in Arisaig. The priest in his homily, spoke about 1 Corinthians 13, which had been one of the readings that day. You know the one, love is patient, love is kind, etc. Now, I’m not one to put too much stock into what a celibate male has to say about romantic partners, but this has stayed with me. He said, find yourself someone, like Joanne did. Someone who you can put right into that reading. So instead of love is patient, love is kind, substitute your partner’s name. In my case, Joan is patient. Joan is kind. Joan is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Joan does not insist on his own way. Joan is not irritable or resentful. Joan does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Joan bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Beautiful, right?

My Joan has showed me time and time again that all of those things are absolutely true and definitely during that ice storm ordeal.

Anne Shirley had it right. Love isn’t diamond sunbursts or marble halls…it is the combination of all the wonderful supportive, encouraging things I’ve mentioned above. Love is being my rock in an ice storm. Love is being able to effortlessly and honestly slip my husband’s name into a bible passage! Love is a state of being and such a wonderful way to live one’s life. So don’t be blinded by the razzle dazzle of the Valentine’s Day ads…enjoy the razzle dazzle but I hope you look for the tried and true in real life.

I will celebrate Valentine’s Day without much fanfare but secure in the knowledge that our love permeates our very souls…and hope that you all get to do the same! Happy love day to you all!