As the smell of the newly flowered phlox fills my yard and I am filled to the gills from my cherry tree, I have come to the realization that it’s been quite some time since I’ve written. In the hustle and bustle of life, that happens….the very thing that helps to keep me sane gets put on the back burner until there is the chance to catch my breath. Watching the dragonflies spin around from bird bath to flower reminds me to take that breath, and to breathe in that peace…and that leads me back to my dandelion-wishes!
The summer has been one big BLUR so far! After counting down for years, our Allan C and Mary MacDonald reunion has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I look forward to them each and every time cause I am such a firm believer in family and faith and tradition; and a reunion embodies all of that!
My grandmother, Thelma, was one of sixteen kids born to Allan C and Mary (Minnie) MacDonald in the Ohio, Antigonish County. All but one have now made the journey to the great beyond. But those sixteen kids left behind 52 in the next generation and we’re still trying to figure out how many more in the generations that followed. My cousin Sandy and I have been figuring out our own branch and we have been amazed at the fact that 43 descendants, including step but not in-laws, have come via Thelma and Donald Sandy! So you can imagine the astronomical number that will come from all sixteen Allan C descendants combined!
Our cousin Gene and his wife Sheri have really taken up the torch for our family history and traditions by bringing family reunions to life in the early 2000s for the first time since 1984. And we have had them every 5ish years since! People come from far and near…as far away as Taiwan and Brazil and as close as across the river! We laugh a lot. We reminisce a lot. We tell the old family stories while we laugh a lot! Music permeates everything we do…a testament to the legacy of Jean Fraser, one of the sixteen, who was an accomplished piano player in the Scottish traditional genre. Her children and grandchildren share their talents on piano, fiddle and guitar! While our Murphy branch shares their Irish song talents. And my big brother Brian chimes in with his brand of Celtic singer songwriter and cousin Christopher belts out beautiful tunes on the pipes! We are truly blessed!!
We have two evenings of food and music as part of the reunion…but some of my favourite parts are in the observance of connections.
~ Friday night while my cousins Billy and Darren were singing some Irish tunes, they asked their youngest brother Jamie to join them on stage, where he sang every note to The Orangedale Whistle to thunderous applause!
~ While working the registration table, where every reunion participant had to stop on their way in, one lady who I didn’t know waited patiently as the girls in front of her were easily distracted so taking a little extra time (i.e. they kept running into people they hadn’t seen in forever haha). We couldn’t process her until the ones in front were complete. So I said to her, I’m so sorry, once we finish with these girls, we will be right with you. She was so patient and sweet and I could tell by looking at her that she was “one of us” but I couldn’t place her. Finally, it was her turn, and my cousin Susan had to ask her who she was, as, like me, she wasn’t sure…and in that moment, it dawned on me, she must be Darlene! So I blurted it out, “Oh you must be Darlene!”. She was amazed as she had no idea who I was…but she was our cousin from Boston who hadn’t ever been to a reunion before! She is a Nurse Practitioner and a Colonel in the US military. And in that moment, she was so grateful that others knew her connection, that it moved me to tears!
~ My cousin Joanne tripped on the concrete and fell to the ground. She was bloody and banged up; as well as woozy and unsteady on her feet. No less than 3 Registered Nurse cousins appeared out of nowhere and attended to her. In the end, we needed to call 911, who told us to tell her not to move. As time ticked by waiting for the paramedics to arrive, the sun went down and Joanne from California got cold!! And the mosquitoes came looking for her!! Trying to abide by the 911 directives, one of the RN cousins said “wait just one minute”. She went inside, coming out with cousins Buddy & Arnold who picked Joanne up, chair and all, and carried her into the house where it was warm. Joanne didn’t move, as per the directive! And those 3 cousins, the RNs, they stayed with her throughout the couple of hours it took for paramedics to arrive and assess her. Sacrificing their reunion Friday night for their cousin from far away. That, too, warms my heart. (She turned out to be fine by the way…beat up but okay)
~ This was my husband’s first MacDonald family reunion. We’ve been married almost 9 years and together 13 but due to immigration and covid, this was his first. And, of course, the week before he was working in Yarmouth – a six hour drive to home. He arrived fairly late into the evening Friday but spied my cousin Mary Jane across the room. We call Mary Jane his “girlfriend” as when he used to work at Superstore, Mary Jane would be in to see him almost every day! She was sitting with my grand aunt Joan so two little white heads on the other side of the festivities. My Joan made his way across to see Mary Jane and she gave him a great big hug! He snuck back across the room to his seat, only to see Aunt Joan coming barreling after him…wondering why Mary Jane got a hug but she didn’t!
~ We put an entry into the Highland Games Parade. Gene ordered banners and decorations and our cousin Lisa’s husband, Ronnie, provided the float. A little crew of us gathered Friday afternoon to decorate, then early Saturday ahead of the parade to put the final touches on it. The theme was from Keppoch Mountain (where our ancestors first settled) to the Ohio Valley (where they eventually made their home). Cousins Allan & Shelly played fiddle/piano on the float while cousins Billy & Darren sang Irish songs alternating between the two. Cousin Christopher played the bagpipes, leading the charge. Grand aunt Joan donned her Harley Davidson leather vest, complete with tattoo sleeves, and rode on cousin Buddy’s motorbike as the honourary parade marshall. My Mom and her cousins Kim, Kaeleigh, Piper and Mary Jane donned their tartans and rode in a convertible which was decorated with our dearly departed cousin Gary’s kilt. And some of us sat on the float, listening to the music, enjoying ourselves immensely in our reunion shirts and hats. It was sooooo much fun!! FAR more fun than I ever expected it to be!! And Gene’s efforts paid off as we won second place non-commercial! The local 4H organization was celebrating 100 years and as Gene sits on their board, he provided a four wheeler for their float…they came first and now Gene gets to say he came in first AND second!!
~ A little bit before the reunion, cousin Mary Jane called me to see if I would help her with a project. She had written a song, Welcome to a Fraser Ceilidh, to the tune of Out on the Mira. If you’re not familiar with this song, do yourself a favour and look it up on youtube! It embodies all that is Nova Scotia this time of year….and what is a ceilidh you might ask? The google tells me a ceilidh is “a social event at which there is Scottish or Irish folk music and singing, traditional dancing and storytelling”. As our reunion is held at the Fraser homestead, with the Frasers as hosts, it was a very fitting song indeed!! Jean and Willie Fraser were renowned for their hospitality…a pretty big Allan C trait in fact. So Mary Jane wrote the words and wondered if I’d get Brian to sing it. He sang it Friday night of the reunion and it was wonderful!! What a treasure to have in the tickle trunk for years to come!!
~ My cousin Jeff has a four year old daughter, Jana and my cousin Kim has a baby, Sawyer. Watching these two little darlings run around the reunion “barn” captured the very essence of why we have reunions in the first place…the next generations learning to know and love each other.
~ I hadn’t seen my cousin Paul (raised in California, currently living in Georgia) since our wedding in October 2013. He blew into town super late on the Thursday before the reunion but got up bright and early for a t-time in Cape Breton at a course that is consistently on the list of top courses in the world to play (there are two…and they’re both in Inverness…I don’t remember which one he played; google them both! ha!). So he was pretty tired Friday night but was the life of the party all weekend long regardless! He kept not-so-secretly recording conversations using the crybaby filter from SnapChat. Yes, unfortunately, there is one out there in circulation of yours truly asking, “am I a cry baby?” to shrieks of laughter. Weeks later when I got stung by a wasp four times whilst mowing my lawn, I whined to my husband who was away at work. His response, “are you a crybaby?”. Paul has left his mark!!!
~Unfortunately deaths are an inevitable part of families. Since the last reunion we have lost many. Gary MacDonald passed away last fall in Winnipeg but his legacy was alive and well reunion weekend. His wife surprised us all by having lobsters and scotch available on site (my husband, in particular, thanks you for both!!)…his kilt was used to decorate the car in the parade so it was like he was right there with us. His brother and sister-in-law represented their generation of Joe’s branch of the family. And his son, daughter-in-law and three grandchildren faced a “homecoming” to Nova Scotia for the first time without their patriarch. Having to pipe in the parade; at the graveyard; to process Aunt Joanie into the dinner; at mass…sharing his talents so generously with the family was wonderful but it couldn’t have been easy for Chris. The kindness and enthusiasm and compassion and genuine caring exhibited by Chris & Karen AND all three children demonstrated to all of us that the apple clearly didn’t fall very far from the tree. We encouraged Chris & Karen to come back, NOT at reunion time, so we’d get more time to visit and I hope they do sometime soon!!
Ray Murphy passed away earlier this year as well…one of our most prolific story tellers and the keeper of family history! I never once encountered Ray without hearing some story or another…and his presence was definitely missed. But guess what? The Murphys came out in droves!! More Murphys than ever before attended the reunion…from near and far and the storytelling has definitely been passed along to the next generations!! Lucky us!!!
~ Aunt Catherine’s daughter, Alexa, was asked to say a few words about family and faith while we were on our graveyard tour in St. Joseph’s. As many of our deceased relatives are buried there, we take a tour through, as a family, to pay our respects. Alexa spoke of how rare it is to have a family that chooses to gather every fiveish years and how blessed we are to know and care about each other…and to be passing along the faith and traditions to the generations coming behind us. This event is always one of my favourites because it is the whole reason we are there…because of the ones who came before. The stories and the connectivity that comes while walking through that sacred ground together is something that can’t be beat. I swear, it unites our very souls!
~ So for this one, I’m going to use pseudonyms so I’m not disowned! Years ago at a family reunion, I was pleasantly surprised to see my cousin Bob with his arm around family friend Andrea. There had been flirtation and rumblings for literally years but this was the first big hurrah! Watching them together proves that God exists cause no one else could have ever made someone better for the other!! So it has become a funny but not so funny joke that our reunion is always their anniversary. But the question remains…was it Bob or was it Andrea that made the first move? That question remains debatable…but it’s ALWAYS fun to get to say happy anniversary; and Andrea always hopes we forget! But now it’s all part and parcel of family folklore!
~ The mass was my baby this time around. Father Colin, who grew up with my Mom, agreed to do the mass YEARS ago (we had to postpone multiple times due to covid) but most recently in January 2022; confirmed in April 2022. I’d touched base in May and all was a go. In June, my email went unanswered. So I called him. He hadn’t put it in his book and had inadvertently double booked himself!! Mild panic ensued. But Gene rarely flusters and he said, well we’ll just have to have mass whenever he gets here! Either that or Junior Fraser will have to be the celebrant! Thankfully Father Colin came by noon and Junior was off the hook!!
We had representation from all possible branches of the family participate in the mass. I organized from Thelma’s. Chris piped from Joe’s. Mary led the hymns from Gertie’s. Nancy did a reading from Peter’s. Tricia did the Responsorial psalm from Jean’s. Morna did a reading from Catherine’s. Andrew played the piano from Jean’s. Petra from Catherine’s, Mary Janet from Winnie’s, Kim from Joan’s and Annie from Gertie’s did the Prayers of the Faithful. Shelly and Allan from Jean’s played fiddle and piano. Jeff, Crystal, Avery & Jana from Catherine’s were on deck to bring up the gifts but, due to covid, the priest kaboshed that idea the morning of. Listening to everyone sing the hymns and harmonizing with each other…while looking around our reunion hall, with all the pictures and artifacts from our ancestors. I honestly had a moment where I felt them all right there with us…and the pride they feel that we’ve continued…it was a little surreal.
~ My cousin Sandy, who has gotten pretty big into genealogy the last while, attended his first reunion since 1984 and had his son Lauchie in tow! Watching them meet and get to know and make memories with the wider family was particularly amazing for me. I often tell Sandy that he embodies all the wonderful gifts of our grandfather, Donald Sandy MacDonald…his kindness, his strong work ethic, his ability to take things in stride, his non judgmental way of dealing with people, his ability to connect with people of all ages and generations, his gift of observation, his thoughtfulness, his ability to slide in a joke at the most opportune time, his love of family, etc etc. Sandy is all of those things!! So to watch him connect with our grandMOTHER’s side of the family too and build such bonds in such a short amount of time. I’m still smiling about that…and what a gift for Lauchie!! To learn first hand that he has this humongous family out there!!
~ Cousin Nancy, who is one of my cousins who I call “couster” (meaning cousins who are like sisters) and I crying following mass because we were moved to tears by the joy in the room…she felt our ancestors there too and it was overwhelming. Not something that can really be described in words…but felt by the heart!
~ Winnie was one of the 16 who died very young and tragically, leaving behind 3 babies. One of the three, Frances, passed away young too…leaving behind her husband Dominic and four children. I can imagine that it might have been difficult to have a connection to Winnie’s family since they didn’t have the opportunity to know Winnie!! But here, all these years after Frances’ passing, her husband Dominic attended (as did Winnie’s two living daughters, Mary Janet & Lorraine with their respective families). Watching Dominic keep these connections going…and building new ones, it still brings tears to my eyes!! On Sunday, his daughter Melinda, was able to come to the mass and the tree dedication ceremony (she is a farmer so this time of year is next to impossible for her to get away!!). She brought her kids and they were so moved that one of them hoped to get a family reunion tshirt (I’m not sure if this has happened yet or not…the hosts were crazy busy but maybe now that it’s died down a bit, I’ll check!!). Connections. Family. Tradition. If this was the only event, it would have been enough…cause it embodied the essence of the 16…
~ Walking across the field to the tree grove with my cousin Darlene, she was asking me what happens to the property when there is no reunion! Well, Gene and Sheri, continuously outdo themselves. In addition to the major renovations to the house and the complete rebuild of “the barn” (it’s a hall), they have built a gazebo that is bigger than many apartments and have done an incredible amount of landscaping, including stone work and amazing flower beds (that cousins Buddy, Junior, John, Brett, Andrew, Joan, Allan etc have all worked so hard doing!!) Plus, he added this tree grove. 17 trees. One to represent each of the 16 kids of Allan C and Mary (Minnie) MacDonald. And one to represent them, who started this all…a plaque on site says, “This grove of 17 red, green and yellow maple trees represents the descendant roots of Allan C and Mary MacDonald. The rock dedication brings together all the places that the children made home and raised families from around North America. A proud family heritage of coming together and having fun!” This rock formation was created reunion weekend…with rocks brought from everywhere the 16 settled!! California, Michigan, Winnipeg, King City, Lismore, Bucklaw, Antigonish, Ohio, Ardness, etc etc. It was a beautiful ceremony…and now serves as a place of contemplation and remembrance. As Darlene and I remarked…some day Gene & Sheri are going to come home and one of us will be sitting there, watching the wind blow through the trees, remembering those that came before. And, that too, is at the very heart of why we do reunions.
~I could tell stories for days about this particular weekend. Even when the details fade, the warmth in my heart and the remembrance of the gales of laughter and the taste of tears will live on forever. If you get the chance to gather with family, please do!! You won’t ever regret time spent with people you love. And when you do, I hope you laugh, dance, sing, and cry as much as we all did…and have a little jillick too, would ya? That’s all part of the tradition too (or a snort as some of the elders say…)
Dandelion Wishes 