Goodbye and good luck, Mary Farrell

I saw Mary Farrell’s post about not reoffering for next month’s municipal election and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why it bothers me so much. Cause it does.

Mary Farrell is someone I didn’t know at all until the last few years.  I loved her Mom who was like a Mama hen to all of us swim team kids back in the day but I didn’t know any of her children. They were all a little older than me; Not a lot but enough that we were never in school together. So it wasn’t until she made her way to Antigonish Town Council that I met Mary Farrell.

So I guess it’s a little odd that I’m writing a blog about her. I hope she doesn’t mind.

Mary is a hairstylist by trade who now also works at my church – in a role that she is perfect for. Cause you see, Mary is one of those people that says an enthusiastic OK to any task I’ve ever seen asked of her. And she is a do-er. So when asked to put on an event, for example, she’ll have the venue decorated to the nines, have entertainment there (or provide it herself!) and she will have enlisted family and friends to prepare a feast.. in addition to preparing, advertising, and cleaning up of course!! She knows how to pull things together and make anything look beautiful and effortless…and no job is too big or too small and it’s never overlooked. There’s only one other person I’ve ever met in my life that can take a casual comment about a wish or a dream and turn it into reality like Mary Farrell can.

Mary is also someone who actually listens and cares about people…something very rare in this day and age. She knows every little old lady in town and what’s the scoop with them…she remembers to ask about things mentioned in passing. She follows up and circles back around if she hasn’t had the chance to touch base with you in awhile.

And you know what? Mary Farrell is just a really nice person. We are all human and have our moments but she genuinely cares about people and her community and always works so hard to help whenever and wherever she can.  My neighbour told me about how he tried and tried to get an issue solved but his pleas fell on deaf ears until Mary Farrell caught wind of it and rectified a situation that helped our entire neighbourhood.

I think Mary Farrell will be surprised I’m writing this. Mostly because I’ve been so vocal about hating the process of amalgamation that she was such a proponent of.

And I think that’s why her not running this time round gnaws at me. 

Mary and I had a long conversation one afternoon about this whole amalgamation issue. Full disclosure, I’m not necessarily anti-amalgamation but I didn’t believe at all in the process or how it played out. And positively hated that it so divided our community. People got their backs up. It became us verses them. There was such a great divide that one side could say the sky was blue and the other would swear it’s purple. Such a devastating side effect of what was intended, or what i hope was intended to be a progressive move forward for our town.

I always try really hard to look at all sides of something. Likely an anxiety fueled response. But it makes me careful and not likely to speak up unless I’ve done my homework or prepared in someway. But for the life of me i couldn’t understand why people were so adamant about pushing through amalgamation in this way even knowing how many of us were hurt by it. It sucked being a part of a group that pro-amalgamation people rendered mouthpieces and fringe and conspiracy theorists and not representative of our actual community. Because I sat through meetings where people from all walks of life that I’d known my whole life were…and we felt sidelined and dismissed.

I truly felt like if the pro-amalgamation people could just try to see it from our perspective that they would hit pause and find a better way.

But that didn’t happen and the chasm widened. People got angry and frustrated. And they turned that vitriol against the people they blamed for voting to amalgamate, including Mary Farrell.

I couldn’t fathom why someone like her would stick to her guns knowing how upset people were. Until I had my conversation with her. She was in tears telling me how much she loved our town and why. She told me about her growing up and learning to be a good citizen giving back to the community; learning to be frugal and resourceful; and learning to grasp any opportunities that came along.

For her,  when she learned about the amalgamation process, she truly felt like this was such an opportunity to unite our community as one and to move forward as one. She heard the naysayers but truly felt this was too good an opportunity to give up on. There may be details to work out but never being afraid of hard work, she felt like it could all be ironed out and it would be a great step forward for all of us who call ourselves Antigonishers.

I didn’t feel the same but I was finally able to understand where she was coming from.

When she told me about the taunts and the phone calls at all hours of the night that had her frightened in her own home, it brought me to tears. Good people doing what they think is best for our community do not deserve to be bullied or harassed. It’s a moot point whether or not it was threats that could be dealt with in a court of law. The very fact that a woman taking on such a leadership role in our community would be afraid to sleep at night in her own home is heartbreaking.

How did we get to a point where we have to tear down in order to build up? That we have to intimidate to get what we want? That we feel it’s okay to do so because we feel a different political direction is necessary? What does that say about us? And how does that encourage good people to get into and stay in politics???

I don’t know why Mary’s not running. I still don’t know her super well and I haven’t had the chance to ask. But I can imagine that the absolute stress of standing strong in her convictions took a heavy toll. I can imagine being frightened because of your part time job would make you want to leave it behind.  I can imagine the devastation one must feel when their intentions and character are maligned and slandered.

How on earth will we ever move forward as a community if good people like Mary Farrell have to give up and cry mercy because the toll is so high to pay?

We need good people to stand up and be political leaders. Desperately.  We need people from all walks of life who bring their knowledge,  skills and experiences to the table. Good people who listen to those they represent and make hard decisions in the best interest of the town. As we stroll through town today, we all can see areas we think should be focused on. That’s what’s great about a diverse council – you get a group of elected leaders ; some of whom are do-ers; some of whom are dreamers; but all of whom should have the towns best interest at heart.

If only those who can withstand public ridicule and harassment wind up in politics, then we’re missing out. We are missing the empathy and compassion and the dreams and hopes and we wind up not caring about our fellow citizens and only caring about what’s in it for us. And that’s NOT the Antigonish I know and love. We need to do better.

Now remember,  i don’t really know why Mary Farrell is leaving politics. I’m only thinking about things from a different angle tonight and sharing my musings. I’m sad for our town that someone like Mary is no longer going to be at the council table. But I know my church community and many other organizations are going to benefit from her newfound free time come  next month!

Thank you Mary for your years of service.  For showing us how much you love your community. I’m sorry it turned out this way. And i hope we are not late to turn it around!! Our young people are watching. We can and must do better.